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Have a Slice

Hello friends! The University of Nebraska Press' page for my memoir >>>>BURY MY HEART AT CHUCK E. CHEESE'S <<<< is up and running! THANK YOU to those who have pre-ordered. We are still six months from lift off but in the meantime here's a tempting slice. Be sure to check out the Table of Contents tab, it's cheezy goodness! 🍕🧀🍕🧀🍕🧀

Table of Contents

Foreword by Geary Hobson Part I: My Origin Story is a Cross Between "Call Me Ishmael," a Few too Many Whiskey Sours Packed in an Old Thermos at the Drive-In Double Feature, and that Little Voice that Says, "You Got This." Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese’s Headlines Part II: Instead of a "Raised by Wolves" T-Shirt, Mine Says "Raised by Functioning Alcoholics with Intimacy Phobias & Low Self-Esteem” The Jimmy Report My Name is Moonbeam McSwine The Siam Sequences Part III: Micro (Aggression) Memoirs First World (Story) Problems Tweets as Assigned Texts for Native American Studies Class Ghoul, Interrupted Part IV: Garsh Durn It! You Say Patriarchy, I say Patri-Malarkey, Dollars to Donuts CooCoo Banana-Pants, You Gals & Your Lady Power This ‘n That. An Open Letter to White Women Concerning The Handmaid’s Tale and America’s Historical Amnesia Fertility Rites Wonder Woman Hits Theaters, Smashes Patriarchy Jame Gumb, Hero and Pioneer of the Fat-Positivity Movement Post-Election Message to the 53 Percent Committee of Barnyard Swine to Determine Fate for Women’s Health Champion Our Native Sisters! (But Only Selectively and Under Certain Conditions) An Open Letter to White Girls Regarding Pumpkin Spice and Cultural Appropriation Part V: Me Cutting in Front of All the People in All of the Lines Forever: "It's Okay, I Literally was Here First." #DecolonizedAF Thousands of Jingle Dress Dancers Magically Appear at Standing Rock Protector Site Satire Article Goes Viral on Day of 2016 Presidential Election Results Attack of the Fifty-Foot (Lakota) Woman Minnesota Art Gallery to Demolish “Indian Uprisings” Exhibit After Caucasian Community Protest Why I Don’t Like “Pussy” Hats Li-Li-Li-Li-Land, Standing Rock the Musical! Part VI: Merciless Indian Savages? Try Merciless Indian Fabulous! Redeeming the English Language (Acquisition) Series Fifty Shades of Buckskin Conversations with my Lakota Mom Feast Smudge Snag 8 Types of Native Moms Part VII: "Shill the Pretendian, Unfav the Genuine" is the 2018 Remix for "Kill the Indian, Save the Man" Red Like Me: I Knew Rachel Dolezal Back When She Was Indigenous A List of Alternative Identities to Try for Fun and Profit I Have White Bread Privilege Things Pseudo-Native Authors Have Claimed to Be but Actually Are Not You Might be a Pretendian Part VIII: I Watched Woman Walks Ahead and Frankly was Offended by the Cookie-Cutter, Stereotypical Portrayal of the Menacing White Soldier Reel Indians Don’t Eat Quiche: The Fight for Authentic Roles in Hollywood Are You There, Christmas? It’s Me Carol Post-Election U.S. Open in Racist Tirades Competition West Wing World Part IX: The Native Americans Used EVERY Part of the Sacred Turkey Hey America, I’m Taking Back Thanksgiving Clown Costumes Banned, Racist Native American Halloween Costumes Still Okay Thanksgiving Shopping at Costco: I Just Can’t Even Politically Correct Alternatives to Culturally Insensitive Halloween Costumes Part X: BREAKING NEWS—Your Neighbor Who Said "Whoa, Dude, This Whole Trump Thing’s Like So Fricken Surreal," Might Actually Be on to Something Step Right Up, Folks Trump Pardons Zombie Apocalypse There’s Something About Andrew Jackson Trump Administration to Repeal Bison as First National Mammal President Trump Scheduled for Whirlwind Tour to Desecrate World’s Treasures Part XI: The Trump Administration’s Pop-Up, Coloring, Scratch ‘n Sniff, Edible, and Radioactive Activity Book

You’ve Got Mail Executive Order Requiring all Americans Take Up Cigarettes by End of 2017 The Wild West (Wing) and Wild Bill Hiccup Give a Chump a Chance Ars Poetica by Donald J. Trump Acknowledgements


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